Not Games

  • CM Punk and Sting’s Facepaint: A Review

    Last night, Sting wrestled in the Greensboro Coliseum, the venue in which his superstardom was launched due to his Clash of the Champions match against “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. AEW has done a good job of treating Sting matches as celebrations of the places that mattered to his career, and last night’s Dynamite was…

  • This Steve Austin Shirt I Found On Depop: A Review

    In the late 1990s, Stone Cold Steve Austin was a license to print money. Beyond the ubiquitous Austin 3:16 shirt, which had more variants than there are stars in the sky, the World Wrestling Federation really went to work on the Texas Rattlesnake. Some shirts—Blood From a Stone, Rattlesnake Arms—are iconic and go for…

  • Bryan Danielson’s Jumping Jacks: A Review

    Last night, Bryan Danielson and “Hangman” Adam Page wrestled to a 60-minute time limit draw. It was a brilliant match, utterly breathtaking in the way it wasted exactly zero of the 60 minutes it was given, full of references to other epic championship clashes and even more packed with its own original ideas. I…

  • The AEW Debut of Hook: A Review

    Hook, the chip eating, ringside vulturing, dragon sleeper utilizing son of Taz, the head honcho of the eponymous Team Taz, debuted tonight on AEW Rampage against Fuego del Sol. The build to Hook’s debut, and the attention paid to it, was one of the strangest developments in professional wrestling this year—outside of CM Punk’s…

  • Bron Breakker’s Use of Bolt Cutters at NXT Takeover War Games: A Review

    So, the War Games cage got padlocked shut last night in an effort to keep the babyface team of Guys What Who Haven’t Been Drafted to Raw or SmackDown from interfering in the team of Literally Got Here Three Weeks Ago’s scheme to maintain advantage throughout the match. It didn’t make any sense—LA Knight…

  • Billy Gunn’s Tattoo Choker: A Review

    Billy Gunn’s tattoo choker is like a cherry on top of a sundae. In Gunn himself, you’ve got all of the elements of a good time: ice cream, nuts, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and the time and solitude required to assemble those elements as opposed to horking down a pint of Cherry Garcia in…

  • A Pilgrimage to Scott Steiner’s Shoney’s

    Four years ago, my favorite wrestler purchased a dilapidated Shoney’s in Acworth, Georgia (across from the Cabela’s). It was such a notable event in Shoney’s history that the restaurant chain posted a video of him and his brother demolishing the building with a bulldozer. That wrestler’s name is Scott Steiner, and if he reads…