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Wednesday Night War Week 10: Cults, Cults, and More Cults
Two hours is a long time. I know that the last seven years of three hour Raws and six hour supershows have changed the perception of how time works within the boundaries of a wrestling event, but a lot can happen in 120 minutes, and between NXT and AEW, Wednesday night tends to be…
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An Oral History of Dave “The Animal” Bautista’s Dick
For nearly two decades, fans have asked wrestlers the question “How big is Bautista’s dick.” Here, at last, is the answer.
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An Oral History of Dave “The Animal” Batista’s Dick
Wrestling fans are, generally speaking, a thirsty people. The way some of y’all talk about this great sport, this legitimate athletic endeavor where it generally behooves a competitor to be smooth, oily, and muscular, is enough to make a girl blush. While it’s tempting to claim that we’re in the horniest era of professional…
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What the Hell is Happening in Ring of Honor? (Part 2)
Read “What the Hell is Happening in Ring of Honor?” for the first part of this story. Earlier this month, I attempted to untangle a blistering series of tweets by former Ring of Honor producer Joey Mercury, alleging gross incompetence on the part of its general manager, Greg Gilleland, on a number of fronts.…
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NXT WarGames 2019 Recap & Review
I would like to go on the record and state that the WarGames cage match is the best thing that’s ever been invented. Sure, boring people might choose something more practical, like the wheel or electricity or hormone replacement therapy, but look—none of those were invented by Dusty Rhodes. Rather than a world where…
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Wednesday Night War Week Eight: Non-stop Bangers
Y’all ever stop to think about how good professional wrestling is? I mean, sure it’s a terrible cesspool of weird boomer energy, a medium of entertainment that thrives on manufacturing and disavowing controversy on a minute-to-minute basis, but beyond the crushing despair of constant exposure to the flaws of humanity there is this: few…
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Wednesday Night War Week 7: The Curse of Full Sail University’s Parking Lot
I have a confession to make. I am one of the mythical lapsed fans AEW is always going on about capturing the attention of. Before the debut of Dynamite (and this column), the last major American wrestling event I watched live was WrestleMania 35. Before that, it was an NXT house show in Atlanta.…
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Crawling Through Broken Glass: AEW Full Gear Recap and Review
During the build to Full Gear, I started to realize that, some day, All Elite Wrestling will just feel like a regular wrestling promotion. That’s not a knock, just a fact inherent to the goal of making All Elite Wrestling a permanent fixture of the global wrestling landscape. If all goes well and the…
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Wednesday Night War Week 6: A Dialogue!
This week we decided to experiment with a different format: LB Hunktears and Colette Arrand typing paragraphs at each other in Google Docs. It’s kind of like a podcast, but for your eyes. You could get a computer to read it to you, if you want. We hope you like it! Hunktears: Hey Colette,…
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What the Hell Is Happening in Ring of Honor?
Ring of Honor, once the promotion whose roster and style set the standard for independent wrestling and, later, brands like WWE’s NXT, has not fared well in the expansion of the wrestling marketplace. Attendance is down, hype is almost non-existent, and one gets the feeling that, were it not for the fact that they…