It used to be that not everybody who wrestled on television got merchandise. If you were the kind of fan who liked the sick, twisted freaks of professional wrestling more than the dudes who got shirts or hats, you had to get creative to rep your guy at Center Stage during a WCW Saturday Night taping. If you had no artistic inclinations of your own, that meant going to the local flea market and getting something done by someone who not only had those inclinations, but who owned an airbrush gun and had something wearable to spray it at. Sometimes the result was sublime.
This is one of those times.
This Guy's Custom Airbrushed Cactus Jack Hat
100
Summary
A “hell yeah, brother” piece of work.
Pros
- Airbrush guy was either a wrestling fan or thought they were getting commissioned for a hat that says “I fuck.” Either way they were probably like “brother that is sick” when they put the gun down and regarded their work.
- I am imagining the dude with the hat on regarding it upon receipt, whistling slow, and going “that is some hat” like the dudes who’d read Charlotte’s spiderweb reviews of Wilbur the pig would say “some pig” when considering whether or not to kill and eat Wilbur the pig.
- Somehow the hat enhances the solemnity of this occasion, which is Cactus Jack getting powerbombed onto a concrete floor by Big Van Vader. That’s his guy, man! It says so right there on the hat.
- “Mr. Bang Bang” is a sick nickname.
- Yosemite Sam-ass revolver.
- Along with Cactus Jack’s own airbrushed shirts, establishes Mick Foley as one of wrestling’s chief muses of the airbrushed arts, along with Rick Rude, Jimmy Hart, and Rob Van Dam. Get the fuck out of here with your top hat, Buff Bagwell. Fifth place is a bad finish in Mario Kart and it’s a bad finish here.
Cons
- I will never own this hat. I could get it remade, but I will never own this specific hat, which is worth more to me than everything in WWE’s archival warehouse.