Features
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Vince McMahon Has Retired
I don’t know how to begin covering what is possibly the biggest story in the history of professional wrestling. Vince McMahon is retiring from WWE. In his tweet and in WWE’s press release containing his statement on the matter, McMahon led with the fact that he is 77, intimating that it is age, and not The…
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I Hope Triple H Starts Pointing at People Again
WWE announced today that Paul “Triple H” Levesque has been installed as the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations. Given that John Laurinaitis is ensnared in an ongoing investigation into his (and Vince McMahon’s) alleged use of company funds to buy the silence of employees with whom he’s alleged to have had affairs, as well…
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Nobody Has a Lariat Like Stan Hansen’s Western Lariat
Before understanding Stan Hansen’s Western Lariat, it’s important to consider what a lariat/clothesline is. I don’t mean the mechanism — at its simplest, one wrestler sticks his arm out and takes off the head of another with it, one of the most no muss, no fuss moves in professional wrestling — I mean the object.…
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A Field Guide to the Gimmicks of NXT 2.0
I watched NXT 2.0 last night. No, no, hold your applause and save your medals; I, like all of you, am human, and humans tend to fuck up from time to time. It is no secret that NXT 2.0, once a jewel in the crown of WWE’s unquestioned dominance over professional wrestling, is a barren…
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It Is Now Andrade El Idolo, Jay Lethal, and Jeff Jarrett’s Task to Keep Ric Flair Alive
At last, the world knows what Ric Flair’s last match will be: him and Andrade El Idolo vs. Jay Lethal and Jeff Jarrett. A 24-minute hype package that weaved together Flair’s working with Jay Lethal to get ready for his match, the question of whether or not Jeff Jarrett was ever a Horseman (which is…
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We Need to Change the Way We Talk About Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit is one of the best wrestlers of all time. Chris Benoit also murdered his wife, Nancy, and his son, Daniel, before hanging himself over a three day period in June 2007. Leaving aside the issue of individual taste, the former statement is widely held to be true and the later is established fact.…
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If There Is an Ethical Way to Watch WWE, It Is Via Piracy
Money in the Bank, WWE’s failed attempt at turning a lukewarm narrative conceit into another stadium show, airs this Sunday on Peacock/WWE Network. Please do not pay for the pleasure of either means of watching WWE’s product. Actually, let me walk that back: I love The ‘Cock. It features great shows like Columbo and Murder, She Wrote,…
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Wheeler YUTA Is the Lex Luger of the Blackpool Combat Club
Please, before you boo me off of Fanfyte, let me explain. Wrestling stables are pretty interesting. They’re meant to be, obviously, a gathering of formerly disparate talents in the name of a common cause. A stable can come in three configurations before becoming a faction: there’s the three person stable, the four person stable, and…
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On SmackDown, Vince McMahon Asserted Himself As the Center of His Industry
Yesterday, at 9:19am, the WWE Twitter account announced that Mr. McMahon would open SmackDown. It is crucial that they said Mr. McMahon and not Vince McMahon, as, since 1997, there has been some separation between the Vince McMahon who runs WWE in reality, and the Mr. McMahon who runs the product that WWE sells. A…
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Tonight, Vince McMahon Addresses His Enemies
Tonight, on SmackDown, Vince McMahon will reportedly appear in character as Mr. McMahon to address the allegations made against him in Wednesday’s bombshell Wall Street Journal report about his alleged use of company funds to buy the silence of several mistresses. Stephanie McMahon, who recently went on hiatus from her role in the company, is…